Okay, this is completely unrealistic but I’m laughing my ass off!
I came across this awesome piece by Ron Hauge in the New Yorker. It’s about what the Garden of Eden would look like if it were run by Republicans. My favourite bits:
In the beginning the LORD created the Heavens and the Earth, featuring a handful of small but helpful lands offshore. On the sixth day He built Adam by Himself, requiring not any government assistance.
Woman was made vice-president of Man’s corporation and for her an office was constructed with a ceiling made of glass.
Eve was condemned to a lifetime of painful childbirth with no exception for the health of the mother.